ackkk

it's like really late and i should be in bed, but i am listening to knitting podcasts. cast on to be exact. I need to go to bed because i have to get up really early to do laundry and go to the beach. i have no clean clothes and my apartment is a mess. i need to clean the litter box and write reports. the reports can wait. i do need to check email. oh well. i guess i need to work. if havent' knitted today. but i have thought about it :-)

sitting

as i sit here, i can feel every ounce of fat on my body. it feels like it anyway. i miss the flow and suppleness of the body i have lost and never thought i would miss. i could bend and flow. i could walk for miles, up hill and down, without pause. now, i gasp and wheeze. my air constricted by the mounds of flesh that restrict my breath. i feel trapped.
i want to explore. i want to travel. i am hemmed in by my fears, an invisible gate that pens me, close to home. my pastures the asphalt expanse that is washington, maryland, virginia. i long for the open spaces and freedom of the new. the adventure. anywhere but kansas.
maybe i should just start with a walk.

knitting podcasts

Oh, I finished the red fishermans sweater. Guess I need to change the profile!

I have spent the last couple of hours listening to knitting podcasts. I think I have lost my mind. It's really strange. I think it appeals to the inner vouyer in us all. You are sitting there, listening to someone elses conversation. I wonder if this can relate to the recent reports on the increased loneliness of people in the modern age. That so many of us communicate via email and meet in cyberspace. Oh well, regardless, it's amusing. Currently listening to Lime and Violet and it's kinda interesting. They have links to some cool sites on their blog which is how I found my current project. I am working on a pair of socks. I started them over and found a reasonably simple pattern on magknits. I'll take pics when I have more than three rows done.

Went window shopping today and picked out my new hydration pack. Sticking with the camelbak. I knew I would. I am such a consumer, I always go for the known label. The REI brand is not much cheaper so it's not that big a deal, and I actually do prefer the color (cherry red) and the style of the camelbak. It has the same number of pockets but the bladder goes into a separate back pouch whereas in the REI unit, it goes into a pocket in the main pouch. I want it in a separate insulated pouch, ya know? Cold water should stay relatively cold for summer hiking.

I am so looking forward to the hike and the beach camping. I wanna find some info on what I should take with me. Really I just want to go shopping :-)