depressed

*sigh*  I think I'm depressed.  It started when I planned to ...... actually, it started years ago, but the reason I am blue now isn't a reason, there are many - but at this point it's because I wanted to go to sheep and wool, but I have to work sunday to take inventory.  To add to this, lights are lighting up in my car, and that ain't good.  I totally screwed up my finanaces by making crazy purchases (shopping therapy is not a good thing), and now I probably need major work on the car.  At least my expense check from working at the new store came so that will help with the car.  Now to ice the cake (hey, what do you expect from a baker) my sister has been planning this trip to New York for all of us since Christmas, it's her gift to us.  Well, since my car started smoking today (overheated in the drive through at the kfc, very embarrasing) I think I should probably drive to the nearest repair shop in the am, instead of driving 45 miles to her house to sign on to the rental car, and then spending money that should go for car repairs on museums and meals in the big apple.  But I feel guilty because now they won't go since I won't be driving.  I wanted to go, and I was kinda excited about going, but now I just want to veg and be depressed, and clean my apartment, and get my car fixed, and put my shelves that fell off the wall back up.  And maybe go for a walk in the morning.  I think I also didn't want to drive.  We were going up for the day, and since she doesn't like to drive at night, Iwould end up driving from New York to Baltimore at probably 9:00 at night after getting up at 5am.  Doesn't that sound like fun.  NOT!!  It's not like they can't go on their own, it's just none of them like to drive on the highway (I don't mind it) and none of them like to drive at night (or have poor night vision).  I guess all of this is so I could say to myself "you know what you have to do, and what you need to do.  don't beat yourself up because something came up and you can't fall in with someone else's plan.  it's not your fault and stuff happens.  be nice to yourself and go knit something.  have another sip of iced tea."
Okay, I don't feel better.
oh well.